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Not Me Monday: All part of a well-balanced diet

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week

I would never eat French silk pie for lunch. While the children napped. Never. Not going to happen.

I'd have a delicious and filling chef salad made with spinach and iceberg lettuce. A little ham, a little turkey. A nasty, un-deviled hard-boiled egg. Baked turkey bacon. Shredded, low-fat, gitty...yet waxy cheese.

Yeah, that's what I'll have, instead of a chocolatey pie...

Relearning Discipline: When What Worked Doesn't

It's been almost four weeks since Lily's surgery. She's been sleeping so much better the last 2 weeks. Her behavior has greatly improved.

The last couple of days, she's been acting up or acting out. I'm not sure which, or why.

Lily is learning new ways to deal with upset. This is something I didn't foresee. I assumed that once she was sleeping better, the behavior would resolve itself. For the most part, it has.

I've been using our usual method for discipline. When she starts screaming and crying, I'd send her to her room. The hope was that she'd calm down and fall asleep, catching up on the sleep that she missed.

Well, severe sleep deprivation isn't the issue anymore.

For me, that means I have to change, too. She's old enough, I think, to start losing privileges. She got TV time revoked. She had a time out on the stairs. She's not been allowed a bed time snack.

We're learning.

What are some creative solutions you have tried when the old ones no longer work?

Lily's Surgery ... A Gamble That's Paying Off

I can't believe that so much time has gone by since Lily's surgery. She's doesn't seem to be having any pain or problems.

I'm not going to lie, the first couple of days after the surgery when she was in pain and crabby, I wondered if it was really the right decision. She just moped on the sofa and whined. She didn't even want a sippy cup of chocolate milk!

After a week of resting, Lily returned to school. This was a trial since we weren't sure if she'd do well through a whole school day. She did fine. Got her school pictures taken, too!

She sleeps so much better. No more snoring. No more waking up in the middle of the night screaming because she's having trouble breathing. No more bedtime tantrums.

Her tantrums overall are happening less often. She's more loving and more affectionate. She's not as easily irritated. She's not chronically tired!

She's been so sweet. I always give her 4 kisses before a nap or at bed time. She gave me 28 kisses before she went to bed. She's been so much kinder to Navy. She shares snacks, she's helped him get toys, she's patted his back when he's upset. I love this behavioral change!

The change that I wasn't expecting was her voice. I didn't realize it before, but Lily's voice was kind of hoarse all the time. Now, she has this little girl voice. I'm sure I'm the only one that notices, but it still gets me.

I really see this being a positive thing for Lily.

She's catching up on lost sleep. Right now, she'll sleep 12-14 hours a day. Usually about 10 hours at night, then a 2-3 hour nap. When I'm home in the mornings, she'll sleep in until 8 or so.

I'm just so happy, and relieved, that this has turned out to be the right decision for her. It's hard, as a parent, putting your child through surgery, especially when there's no guarantee that it's the "right" thing. For her, the gamble is paying off!

Baking Up Some Love

Over the last couple of weeks walking through Fort Wayne, I've struggled with finding my place, a way that I can help and feel like I have something to offer.

*enter Betty Crocker mode*

One thing I can do, and do well, is cook. Baking cookies, cupcakes, pies. Making stir-fries, casseroles. It's something I'm good at.

I made two different cookies: classic chocolate chip and peanut & hazelnut butter cookies. Half of the chocolate chip ones got burned because I preheated the over for shiny pans, and I have dark pans.

When we were talking with Dan, a guy I've never met before, about the situation that led him to being homeless and on the streets, he started eating the cookies. Nothing goes better with Nescafe than homemade cookies. Mid-sentence, he stopped and told me that the cookies were good!

*puffs chest with pride*

I came home with no cookies. I think I've finally found my special way to contribute!

Lily's Surgery ... Post-Op Update

Lily's surgery went well. She was really good when they were registering her and doing vitals. They took her to "blow up the balloon," which is how they give the anesthesia. No fussing, no fit.

I went back to the waiting room for about 45 minutes, which is all the longer the surgery took. Watched "SpongeBob SquarePants" while this other set of parents was talking about reading a study that kids who watch the show perform worse in school and that there's no way Squidward could water his kelp garden underwater.

When I went to the recovery room, Lily was starting to wake up and fuss. She was confused and scared. She'd gone to sleep in one room and was waking up in another. She told us her throat hurt.

Her nurse got her some Sprite, with the promise that if she drank her pop, she'd get to go home. Lily rested a bit and watched a movie.

They gave her some anti-nausea and pain medication. She kept saying that she was going to throw up. We got to bring home a pink kidney dish!

Off to Target for her prescription, a special My Little Pony toy, and some snacks for my little sickie.

We've been home watching movies and lounging around.

Surgery Tomorrow!

With Lily's surgery tomorrow, we've spent the last couple of days talking to her about what's going to happen so she won't be too scared.

We watched Curious George Goes to the Hospital to help introduce the concept to her because just explaining it wasn't doing the trick.

I let her know that her special lovey can be with her all the time. Mommy will be there when she goes to sleep and when she wakes up. After she wakes up, they'll give her a special snack.

She told me that she didn't want to get a shot and that she was a little nervous and scared. (How does a 4-year-old even know the word "nervous?")

We ate a special dinner from Subway and picnicked in the living room watching TV. She went to bed without any whining or crying.

I hope this brings some relief, not just for Lily, but for all of us!

What a crazy, busy day!

Lily had her pre-surgery lab work today. I thought she'd be brave, but it scared her. They have someone assist with holding her arm. She didn't even flinch and just watched the vile fill up. Her bravery was rewarded with a sticker.

Lily's appointment was first.

Her sleeping is worse, and she's waking up in the middle of the night, every night. We've had 3 really bad days, but if you look at how she's slept and napped, it makes sense. With Lily's surgery coming up, we just tweaked one thing in her current treatment plan. No major changes until after surgery and a repeat sleep study. Just her 2 refills were over $1000 at the pharmacy. Thankful for good insurance. I only had $25 out-of-pocket.

Navy's appointment was next.

He's 17 pounds, 9 ounces. I didn't get his length. The doctor looked at his rash, coupled with Dave's occasional skin issues. We came home with 5 prescriptions. One cream from his face, one cream for his body, an antibiotic to prevent infection, an anti-histamine to help with itching at night, and another anti-histamine to help with itching during the day.

Lily's surgery is coming up later this week, and both kids go back in a month to follow-up. Navy's 9-month is also coming up!

Lily's Surgery

I know that I've mentioned it in passing, but really haven't given the details on Lily's sleep study from July or her upcoming surgery.

The results of her sleep study was that she failed. She has several stoppages, some of which lasted up to 13 seconds. She only spends about 90 minutes in REM sleep.

The diagnosis was obstructive sleep apnea.

Basically, her glands (tonsils, adenoids) swell when she sleeps, which restricts the air flow as she breathes. It's one of the reasons she snores.

In turn, this can cause behavior problems, such as the inability to focus and follow directions. Just because she's chronically tired.

It's been such a long process because we've been fighting with the insurance company the whole way. They'd rather treat her for autism or ADHD, rather than find out what the real problem is. So, we've have to prove (with her 2 sleep studies) that she has a problem sleeping.

ANYWAY...

The appointment with the ENT was short and sweet. He had reviewed the July results and did a quick exam. Her tonsils were enlarged when we went in, but there was no sign of infection. He said that it'd be best, especially while she's so young, to take them out.

The objective over the next couple of days is to make sure that Lily knows what's happening so she won't be scared, and that I'll be there when she goes to sleep and when she wakes up. Her lovey will be with her the whole time and that this will make her feel better.

It's not about me.

I wouldn't have even thought about "The Fox & the Hound," but we were talking about it in our pre-walk huddle. Just talking about how difficult it'd be for us to survive less than ideal nights on the streets.

In the movie, Widow Tweed eventually has to take Tod out to the woods and release him into the wild. Tod knows nothing about living in the forest, but other animals show Tod how life is in the woods.

From my two nights visiting with the homeless in Fort Wayne, they seem to have the same kind of unspoken system.

We also got onto the conversation of what they do the other 6 days that SOS isn't out walking the streets. There are several other groups that do similar things on other nights.

Our night started at Freimann Square. Papa Smurf was there. He's got an apartment now, but he still comes out to the Square. Very sweet man. Though I didn't know him when he was on the streets, I'm glad he still comes out to visit his friends and for us 'newbies' to get to meet him.

Mitch and Missy. I wish I knew more of their story. All I was able to gather is that Mitch lost his job. Now, they're out on the streets. They have family keeping some of their belongings. Missy needs some jeans with the cooler weather coming, so I've started asking around. I think that we've got 2 pairs lined up for her! Yay!

Over at the space ship, we saw Bernard. He was sleeping, so we didn't disturb him. The guys left some snacks for him.

It was quite a trek, but we met up with Brad and Michael. They were sitting on a log chatting by the light of a candle when we joined them. They got loaded up with snacks.

"A senior citizen shaving in the senior citizens' center. If that's the most dastardly thing I've done in my life, I'm just gonna have to live with that."
-Michael

Michael was talking about the plight of the homeless and how they are being pretty much persecuted at the moment. He said that it just takes one or two people being stupid and acting up, and that ruins things for the lot. Places that are almost paramount to survival in the cold winter months are becoming off limits because of a few bad apples.

Our time at the Salvation Army was short, but nice. There weren't too many guys out, and one of the other groups had already arrived and got most of the needs taken care of.

We didn't see Drew, and that made me kind of sad. I've been thinking about him the last two weeks. Wanting to know if he's feeling better. I was told that this is pretty normal for him.

"It has been customary to take people’s pain and lessen our own participation in it by turning it into an issue, not a collection of human beings."
-Anna Quindlan

I think I'm so guilty of wanting to just fix this, fix them. Kind of like I would sleep better at night if they weren't out there, be in Drew or the homeless. Then, I realize that it's not about me. These people have graciously welcomed me into their lives. Their space, their 'homes'. It's my perception that makes me uncomfortable.

I'm slowly learning.