This baby is dramz, I tell ya!

On Friday, Dad came to pick up Lily so I could venture back to the hospital. I'm becoming a frequent flyer there and the doctors' offices. I was spotting again.

Once I was admitted to the ER, I got into the lovely gown and proceeded to try to relax. Of course, that didn't happen.

The nurse took vitals. The PA came in and tried to find the heart on doppler, which he didn't. The PA (Tom) sucked! In terms of bedside manner, he was okay, but they didn't find the baby's heartbeat on a doppler when we had found it previously. He didn't order an ultrasound at all. Just told me that it may or may not be a miscarriage and that we need to just wait and see.

I gave the usual blood and urine samples. They were also going to do an hCG quantitative, just in case my doctor wanted to repeat it on Monday. Then, I waited. Trying not to focus on the fact that they couldn't find the baby's heart. Of course, that lead to a bunch of tears. On and off crying.

I went home, trying to be optimistic. I called my Mom and she helped calm me down, then she told me she loved me, which made me start crying all over again.

Once I got home, I went to bed. Physically and emotionally exhausted. All the time, worrying about the little baby in my belly. Was the baby okay? Did the baby go to Heaven? All sorts of things a pregnant mother-to-be doesn't want to think about. She'd much rather be thinking about all of the things the baby's going to need and what colors she's going to pick out.

So, I followed up with my doctor today. His PA, Amber, who is fabulous and super friendly couldn't find the heartbeat either. She tried 3 times. Once with the crappy doppler, twice with the good doppler. Nada. She was gonna send me for an ultrasound, but they probably couldn't do it until tomorrow, so she gave me the option of the doctor checking.

Yes, please!

We waited a couple of minutes, which, in the moment felt like an eternity. I was so nervous. My heart was racing. Then, there it was. There my BABY!!

I ordered a doppler from Belly Beats. Amber said not to worry as long as there wasn't significant cramping and clots. Basically nothing more than spotting. And, I will have a doppler, so I can find the baby's heartbeat on my own.

I go back on August 30th.